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What Are Your Parenting Responsibilities?

What Are Your Parenting Responsibilities?
What Are Your Parenting Responsibilities?

Although it can be frustrating at times, there’s no one “right way” to be a parent. Even if you’re receiving parenting advice left and right — whether it’s from your friends, family, other parents, or the media — you may not know to whom to listen. Unfortunately, this can even lead parents to compare themselves to others and doubt their own parenting capabilities. However, the resulting feelings of guilt aren’t going to make it any easier to be a good parent.

The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed by the conflicting feedback, it’s important to sit back and remind yourself of what are and aren’t your responsibilities are as a parent. There’s a solid chance that you’re doing far better as a parent than you’ve been letting yourself believe.

What Parents Aren’t Responsible For

As your child’s parent, not everything is in your control — and that’s okay. Here are a few things that you aren’t responsible for, purely because you’re a parent.

Controlling Everything Your Child Says or Does

Always remember that your child is their own person, and they’re not a puppet you’re responsible for controlling. Especially if it’s taking place when they’re not under your supervision, there’s no way you can control all of your child’s behaviors. At the end of the day, your child’s free will is going to determine what they do and don’t do.

For example, you can’t force a child to do their homework when they adamantly refuse. Although you can try as hard as you can to motivate them, you can’t make your child do work against their will.

However, you can provide reasonable consequences for your child’s poor grades. You can stay in touch with their teachers. You can even set aside daily study time and monitor your child’s homework process. But ultimately, you can’t control their actions.

Earning Other People’s Approval

You shouldn’t always look to other parents or adults to approve of your parenting choices. While other adults can offer valuable advice, you don’t need to let every piece of unsolicited feedback weigh down on you. It’s crucial that you avoid treating parenting like a popularity contest. Besides, there’s no such thing as the “best” parent in your community. Everyone has a unique style and approach to parenting, and everyone’s children have unique needs.

What Parents Are Responsible For

Of course, there are also aspects of your parenting that are within your control. Here are a few examples.

Helping Your Child Independently Function

As a parent, you should be teaching your child age-appropriate skills that they can use to function independently. Over time, you should be helping your child to become more and more independent.

Early on in life, this could include skills like tying their shoelaces, writing their own name, emotionally soothing themselves, and learning to cope with teasing. Later, your child will need to develop independent skills such as driving, filling out a job application, and so on. Your child’s level of responsibility will increase as they age, and this should be reflected in your approach to parenting.

Doing Your Best

All in all, there’s only so much that is within a parent’s control — even when it feels like you need to manage everything about your child and how they’re developing.

There’s an inherent balancing act involved in being a parent. You need to split the difference between doing too little and doing too much for your child. It’s also important to find the balance between giving your child too many repercussions for poor behavior and not enough consequences.

Every Child and Family Situation is Unique

Don’t forget that you know your child better than any of the other parents offering you advice. Every child is unique, and your parenting style should adapt to best suit their needs. As the expert on your own kid, it’s up to you to make decisions that best allow them to become accountable and independent. All you can do is your best, so try not to beat yourself up too hard. Any parent has room to develop and grow, but chances are, you’re doing great.

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When Does Picky Eating Become an Eating Disorder?

When Does Picky Eating Become an Eating Disorder?
When Does Picky Eating Become an Eating Disorder?

If you’ve ever been a parent of a toddler or young child, then you probably have experience dealing with picky eaters. It’s common for kids to refuse healthy foods or food that tastes unappealing to them. As frustrating as this can be, there’s nothing concerning about your six-year-old refusing to eat their vegetables. That being said, picky eating has its limits. Sometimes, your child isn’t a picky eater at all. Your child may actually have an eating disorder known as avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID).

Compared to many other eating disorders (such as anorexia), ARFID wasn’t recognized until recently. The disorder was first defined in 2013. Therefore our understanding of it is still growing.

What is Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder?

When a child or adult has ARFID, they will have severe restrictions on the foods that they’re willing to eat. This can look a bit different from person to person. Typically, an individual may refuse to eat foods with a certain texture, color, or smell.

In some cases of ARFID, the person may only eat foods of a very specific consistency. These might be bland things such as plain noodles, hot cereal such as Malt O Meal but not oatmeal, white bread but not wheat, french fries but not potatoes in any other form. In many instances, it can be about the texture of the food and not the taste. As adults, people with this disorder may eat the same thing for all meals and only eat once a day. As an example, they may eat only chicken nuggets and fries. They feel hungry but the idea of eating at all makes them feel nauseated, so they limit their meals to once a day. Most will have a short menu of safe foods they will eat. These safe foods usually consist of “comfort” foods. When an ARFID sufferer has their safe foods, it is nearly impossible to get them to try something new. This can make it extremely difficult for them to eat an adequate amount of calories or nutrients, seeing as they will be unable to eat most foods given to them.

When a teen or adult has ARFID, they may need to rely on supplements to receive all the essential nutrients that they require.

Symptoms

If you’re growing worried about your child’s picky eating habits, it’s a good idea to keep the symptoms of ARFID in mind. This way, it’s easier for you to catch the red flags early on and get your child help.

In children, the most common symptoms of ARFID are:

  • Food restriction (based on fears of particular smells, textures, or appearances)
  • Lack of interest in food
  • Severely limited food intake (can also lead to fasting behaviors)

On their own, none of these symptoms necessarily point to ARFID. However, if you start to notice all of these tendencies in your child, consider scheduling an appointment with their pediatrician.

What Are the Risks?

As with other eating disorders, ARFID can have serious consequences on an individual’s health and emotional wellbeing.

When young children develop this disorder, they could develop growth problems due to the lack of calories or nutrients that they are eating. Some common deficiencies that a child can develop are insufficient iron, zinc, folate, vitamin C, and/or vitamin B-12.

Additionally, ARFID can result in:

  • Difficulties concentrating
  • Stomach cramps or other problems with digestion
  • Fainting or dizziness
  • Fatigue
  • Issues with sleep
  • Constipation
  • Absent or irregular menstrual cycles
  • Hair loss
  • Dry skin
  • Rapid heartbeat
  • Low blood pressure
  • Intolerance to cold
  • Depression and anxiety

Although ARFID isn’t a direct byproduct of body image or weight control issues, those with this disorder can still become underweight. But it is not bulimia or anorexia.

Possible Causes

Some studies have shown that people with ARFID have had a traumatic childhood experience. They may have had a choking incident as a toddler. Some had feeding issues as an infant. Some may have had traumatic experiences during birthing and more. There is still a lot to learn about what causes this disorder.

Can ARFID Be Treated?

If you suspect that your child is dealing with this disorder, know that it can be treated. There are a few ways that this eating disorder can be managed, including appetite-boosting medications, antianxiety medications, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), in-patient care, and outpatient care programs.

Children with ARFID should receive medical care as soon as possible. Children get tired of hearing all of the reasons they should eat and they shut down. If your child or teenager is displaying symptoms of ARFID, make sure to visit your family healthcare provider. They will be able to rule out any other possibilities before reaching a diagnosis. Fortunately, solutions for this disorder are available.

 

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8 Positive Parenting Tips

family Positive Parenting tips
Positive parenting tips for your family

Many people say that parenting is the most challenging job in the world. It can certainly be challenging to raise children with good values while balancing work, school, and family life. However, it doesn’t have to be impossible—by using these positive parenting tips to become more approachable, you can reduce stress, increase your satisfaction as a parent, and protect the health and wellbeing of your children.

Positive Parenting Tips

Tip 1: Be Patient

One of the most impactful strategies you can use is to be patient with your children. Children are not born into this world knowing how to behave—they will make mistakes. Remember that it takes time to learn and grow. Try not to get frustrated if your child doesn’t follow your instructions the first time. Instead, calmly explain what you want them to do and give them a chance to try again.

Tip 2: Be Positive

It’s important to be positive with your children and to praise them when they do something right. This will help them feel good about themselves and make them more likely to repeat the behavior. Avoid using negative language when speaking to your children and instead use words that will build them up.

Tip 3: Be Engaged

It’s also important to be engaged with your children. Spend time with them and listen to what they have to say. This will help them to feel important and valued. Try to avoid multitasking while you talk to your children, as this can make it difficult for them to open up about their day or problems they may be experiencing.

Tip 4: Be Consistent

When enforcing rules, you should try to be consistent in how you deal with your children. This includes making clear and fair rules for everyone, enforcing them consistently, and ensuring that consequences are also consistent if rules are not followed. This will help to create a sense of order and stability in your household.

Tip 5: Be Flexible

At the same time, it’s important to be flexible with your children. Children need room to learn and grow through their mistakes. Try to understand why they may be acting out and help them to find a solution. This will teach your children that you are willing to work with them instead of just dictating what they should do.

Tip 6: Model Good Behavior

Children need to see their parents behaving in a way they would like to mimic. This includes setting a good example through your behavior and by practicing what you preach. For example, if children see that their parents are constantly shouting at other drivers on the road, they may be more likely to shout at people in their own lives. Being a positive role model will ensure that your children are more likely to follow your rules and be respectful.

Tip 7: Teach Them Positive Values

One of the most important things that parents can do is to teach their children positive values. This includes teaching them how to be kind, helpful, and respectful to others. It’s also important to teach them a general sense of right and wrong, as well as the fact that there are consequences for their actions. You can do this by talking to them about issues as they arise and helping them understand how their decisions impact their lives and others.

Tip 8: Encourage Them

One of the best ways to help your children succeed is to encourage them to strive towards positive goals whether they’re behaving negatively or acting as they should. This includes praising them when they do well and helping them to set realistic goals that they can achieve. Be there to support them when they need it and help them to celebrate their accomplishments.

As you can see, there are many simple ways that you can work toward becoming a better and more approachable parent. Exhibiting these positive parenting tips will help you raise confident, self-respecting, and happy children who will then, in turn, encourage these traits and techniques in those around them.

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Details Parents Should Know as They Begin Homeschooling

Details Parents Should Know as They Begin Homeschooling
Homeschooling

The unexpected changes that have been brought upon parents, students, and teachers because of the COVID-19 pandemic have created a lot of stress and uncertainty as we head into the new school year. Many parents who had never planned on this homeschooling adventure with their children now face a situation where their kids will be learning at home either full-time or part-time. It is vital to realize that this opportunity can be a positive one in many ways, if you understand that you can handle this task, and take the time to make it a meaningful experience for your kids. There are a few basics every parent should know to get the semester started and get the most out of the circumstance.

What Type of Homeschooling Will Your Child Be Using?

Since most parents have never been homeschoolers, it is no surprise that they don’t know there are two types of home-based learning. Each has its advantages, but knowing which method you are using is the first step in understanding homeschooling.

  • The synchronous approach. If your child’s school is employing this type of online learning, it will take some of the pressure off the parent, as the teacher will conduct traditional classroom teaching via videoconferencing in real-time. The primary role of the parent in this scenario involves making sure the student is logged on and focused on the lessons. The teacher will lead the class in expectations and instruction as they answer questions, assign work, and set deadlines.
  • The asynchronous approach. In this type of homeschooling, the parent takes on more responsibility in making sure the student completes their work. Teachers provide packets of worksheets and typically lead instruction through videos that the student can access at any time. This can be beneficial to students who don’t work well under pressure, as they can work at their own pace, and the parent can help establish a schedule that fits the family lifestyle.

Keep These Tips in Mind

The most important thing that you should know as you begin homeschooling your child is that you are very capable of handling the task, and you are probably doing better than you think. Here are a few tips to make things go smoothly.

  • Keep it fun. Don’t force your child to sit still in front of the computer for hours. Including games, songs, and time outdoors helps your child stay focused when they need to complete assignments.
  • Involve others. Whenever you can, get adult family members and friends involved in your child’s learning process. Having different role models read stories or help to solve problems keeps it exciting and fresh.
  • Use your resources. Online libraries, museums, zoos, and aquariums are ideal ways to make learning interesting and effective for students. Interactive exhibits are a fun learning tool when visiting the venue is not an option.
  • Routine is vital. Although everything seems topsy-turvy right now, it is still important to keep a semblance of structure in your child’s life. Schedule your days appropriately, keeping your child’s attention span in mind, and remember that consistency is important, but you should always remain flexible.

With this information, you are ready to get the school year rolling and help your child to learn. Just be willing to adapt and learn as you go, and most importantly, go easy on yourself. You can do this.

 

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