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What Are Your Parenting Responsibilities?

What Are Your Parenting Responsibilities?
What Are Your Parenting Responsibilities?

Although it can be frustrating at times, there’s no one “right way” to be a parent. Even if you’re receiving parenting advice left and right — whether it’s from your friends, family, other parents, or the media — you may not know to whom to listen. Unfortunately, this can even lead parents to compare themselves to others and doubt their own parenting capabilities. However, the resulting feelings of guilt aren’t going to make it any easier to be a good parent.

The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed by the conflicting feedback, it’s important to sit back and remind yourself of what are and aren’t your responsibilities are as a parent. There’s a solid chance that you’re doing far better as a parent than you’ve been letting yourself believe.

What Parents Aren’t Responsible For

As your child’s parent, not everything is in your control — and that’s okay. Here are a few things that you aren’t responsible for, purely because you’re a parent.

Controlling Everything Your Child Says or Does

Always remember that your child is their own person, and they’re not a puppet you’re responsible for controlling. Especially if it’s taking place when they’re not under your supervision, there’s no way you can control all of your child’s behaviors. At the end of the day, your child’s free will is going to determine what they do and don’t do.

For example, you can’t force a child to do their homework when they adamantly refuse. Although you can try as hard as you can to motivate them, you can’t make your child do work against their will.

However, you can provide reasonable consequences for your child’s poor grades. You can stay in touch with their teachers. You can even set aside daily study time and monitor your child’s homework process. But ultimately, you can’t control their actions.

Earning Other People’s Approval

You shouldn’t always look to other parents or adults to approve of your parenting choices. While other adults can offer valuable advice, you don’t need to let every piece of unsolicited feedback weigh down on you. It’s crucial that you avoid treating parenting like a popularity contest. Besides, there’s no such thing as the “best” parent in your community. Everyone has a unique style and approach to parenting, and everyone’s children have unique needs.

What Parents Are Responsible For

Of course, there are also aspects of your parenting that are within your control. Here are a few examples.

Helping Your Child Independently Function

As a parent, you should be teaching your child age-appropriate skills that they can use to function independently. Over time, you should be helping your child to become more and more independent.

Early on in life, this could include skills like tying their shoelaces, writing their own name, emotionally soothing themselves, and learning to cope with teasing. Later, your child will need to develop independent skills such as driving, filling out a job application, and so on. Your child’s level of responsibility will increase as they age, and this should be reflected in your approach to parenting.

Doing Your Best

All in all, there’s only so much that is within a parent’s control — even when it feels like you need to manage everything about your child and how they’re developing.

There’s an inherent balancing act involved in being a parent. You need to split the difference between doing too little and doing too much for your child. It’s also important to find the balance between giving your child too many repercussions for poor behavior and not enough consequences.

Every Child and Family Situation is Unique

Don’t forget that you know your child better than any of the other parents offering you advice. Every child is unique, and your parenting style should adapt to best suit their needs. As the expert on your own kid, it’s up to you to make decisions that best allow them to become accountable and independent. All you can do is your best, so try not to beat yourself up too hard. Any parent has room to develop and grow, but chances are, you’re doing great.

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When Does Picky Eating Become an Eating Disorder?

When Does Picky Eating Become an Eating Disorder?
When Does Picky Eating Become an Eating Disorder?

If you’ve ever been a parent of a toddler or young child, then you probably have experience dealing with picky eaters. It’s common for kids to refuse healthy foods or food that tastes unappealing to them. As frustrating as this can be, there’s nothing concerning about your six-year-old refusing to eat their vegetables. That being said, picky eating has its limits. Sometimes, your child isn’t a picky eater at all. Your child may actually have an eating disorder known as avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID).

Compared to many other eating disorders (such as anorexia), ARFID wasn’t recognized until recently. The disorder was first defined in 2013. Therefore our understanding of it is still growing.

What is Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder?

When a child or adult has ARFID, they will have severe restrictions on the foods that they’re willing to eat. This can look a bit different from person to person. Typically, an individual may refuse to eat foods with a certain texture, color, or smell.

In some cases of ARFID, the person may only eat foods of a very specific consistency. These might be bland things such as plain noodles, hot cereal such as Malt O Meal but not oatmeal, white bread but not wheat, french fries but not potatoes in any other form. In many instances, it can be about the texture of the food and not the taste. As adults, people with this disorder may eat the same thing for all meals and only eat once a day. As an example, they may eat only chicken nuggets and fries. They feel hungry but the idea of eating at all makes them feel nauseated, so they limit their meals to once a day. Most will have a short menu of safe foods they will eat. These safe foods usually consist of “comfort” foods. When an ARFID sufferer has their safe foods, it is nearly impossible to get them to try something new. This can make it extremely difficult for them to eat an adequate amount of calories or nutrients, seeing as they will be unable to eat most foods given to them.

When a teen or adult has ARFID, they may need to rely on supplements to receive all the essential nutrients that they require.

Symptoms

If you’re growing worried about your child’s picky eating habits, it’s a good idea to keep the symptoms of ARFID in mind. This way, it’s easier for you to catch the red flags early on and get your child help.

In children, the most common symptoms of ARFID are:

  • Food restriction (based on fears of particular smells, textures, or appearances)
  • Lack of interest in food
  • Severely limited food intake (can also lead to fasting behaviors)

On their own, none of these symptoms necessarily point to ARFID. However, if you start to notice all of these tendencies in your child, consider scheduling an appointment with their pediatrician.

What Are the Risks?

As with other eating disorders, ARFID can have serious consequences on an individual’s health and emotional wellbeing.

When young children develop this disorder, they could develop growth problems due to the lack of calories or nutrients that they are eating. Some common deficiencies that a child can develop are insufficient iron, zinc, folate, vitamin C, and/or vitamin B-12.

Additionally, ARFID can result in:

  • Difficulties concentrating
  • Stomach cramps or other problems with digestion
  • Fainting or dizziness
  • Fatigue
  • Issues with sleep
  • Constipation
  • Absent or irregular menstrual cycles
  • Hair loss
  • Dry skin
  • Rapid heartbeat
  • Low blood pressure
  • Intolerance to cold
  • Depression and anxiety

Although ARFID isn’t a direct byproduct of body image or weight control issues, those with this disorder can still become underweight. But it is not bulimia or anorexia.

Possible Causes

Some studies have shown that people with ARFID have had a traumatic childhood experience. They may have had a choking incident as a toddler. Some had feeding issues as an infant. Some may have had traumatic experiences during birthing and more. There is still a lot to learn about what causes this disorder.

Can ARFID Be Treated?

If you suspect that your child is dealing with this disorder, know that it can be treated. There are a few ways that this eating disorder can be managed, including appetite-boosting medications, antianxiety medications, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), in-patient care, and outpatient care programs.

Children with ARFID should receive medical care as soon as possible. Children get tired of hearing all of the reasons they should eat and they shut down. If your child or teenager is displaying symptoms of ARFID, make sure to visit your family healthcare provider. They will be able to rule out any other possibilities before reaching a diagnosis. Fortunately, solutions for this disorder are available.

 

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8 Positive Parenting Tips

family Positive Parenting tips
Positive parenting tips for your family

Many people say that parenting is the most challenging job in the world. It can certainly be challenging to raise children with good values while balancing work, school, and family life. However, it doesn’t have to be impossible—by using these positive parenting tips to become more approachable, you can reduce stress, increase your satisfaction as a parent, and protect the health and wellbeing of your children.

Positive Parenting Tips

Tip 1: Be Patient

One of the most impactful strategies you can use is to be patient with your children. Children are not born into this world knowing how to behave—they will make mistakes. Remember that it takes time to learn and grow. Try not to get frustrated if your child doesn’t follow your instructions the first time. Instead, calmly explain what you want them to do and give them a chance to try again.

Tip 2: Be Positive

It’s important to be positive with your children and to praise them when they do something right. This will help them feel good about themselves and make them more likely to repeat the behavior. Avoid using negative language when speaking to your children and instead use words that will build them up.

Tip 3: Be Engaged

It’s also important to be engaged with your children. Spend time with them and listen to what they have to say. This will help them to feel important and valued. Try to avoid multitasking while you talk to your children, as this can make it difficult for them to open up about their day or problems they may be experiencing.

Tip 4: Be Consistent

When enforcing rules, you should try to be consistent in how you deal with your children. This includes making clear and fair rules for everyone, enforcing them consistently, and ensuring that consequences are also consistent if rules are not followed. This will help to create a sense of order and stability in your household.

Tip 5: Be Flexible

At the same time, it’s important to be flexible with your children. Children need room to learn and grow through their mistakes. Try to understand why they may be acting out and help them to find a solution. This will teach your children that you are willing to work with them instead of just dictating what they should do.

Tip 6: Model Good Behavior

Children need to see their parents behaving in a way they would like to mimic. This includes setting a good example through your behavior and by practicing what you preach. For example, if children see that their parents are constantly shouting at other drivers on the road, they may be more likely to shout at people in their own lives. Being a positive role model will ensure that your children are more likely to follow your rules and be respectful.

Tip 7: Teach Them Positive Values

One of the most important things that parents can do is to teach their children positive values. This includes teaching them how to be kind, helpful, and respectful to others. It’s also important to teach them a general sense of right and wrong, as well as the fact that there are consequences for their actions. You can do this by talking to them about issues as they arise and helping them understand how their decisions impact their lives and others.

Tip 8: Encourage Them

One of the best ways to help your children succeed is to encourage them to strive towards positive goals whether they’re behaving negatively or acting as they should. This includes praising them when they do well and helping them to set realistic goals that they can achieve. Be there to support them when they need it and help them to celebrate their accomplishments.

As you can see, there are many simple ways that you can work toward becoming a better and more approachable parent. Exhibiting these positive parenting tips will help you raise confident, self-respecting, and happy children who will then, in turn, encourage these traits and techniques in those around them.

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Help to Manage Childhood Fears: Practical Strategies

Help to Manage Childhood Fears
How can you help your child deal with their fears?

Fears and anxieties are a normal part of childhood. For that reason, not all childhood fears need immediate interventions or treatment—and not all need to be addressed formally. However, if your child is experiencing extreme fear, it may affect their daily life and their ability to interact with their family, friends, teachers, and the world around them.

This situation can be very stressful for all of you. By focusing on a few useful strategies, you can help your child begin to manage their fears, reduce anxiety, and function better at home, in school, and in the community.

The 3 Main Types of Childhood Fears

Overall, there are three main types of fears:
  • Acute fear. This is a short-lived fear that is usually caused by a specific event or experience. For example, if your child experienced a car accident, they may be fearful of being in any car for a short time.
  • Specific fear. This is an irrational fear of a specific object or situation that has posed no immediate danger. For example, your child may be afraid of spiders even if they’ve never been injured by a spider and may remain afraid of spiders for a long time.
  • Social fear. This is a fear of social situations and the other people in them. For example, a child who is afraid to participate in a class or speak in front of people may have a social fear.

Childhood Fears – Management Strategies

If your child’s fears are normal for their age, these strategies may help them manage their response.

Strategy 1: Provide a Safe Environment


One of the most important things you can do for your child is to make sure they feel safe and protected from harm. You can do this by creating a predictable routine. Also by keeping open communication with your child and avoiding being overprotective.

Strategy 2: Help Your Child Understand Their Fear


Another way to help your child manage their fears is to help them understand what they are afraid of. This can be done by talking about fear in an age-appropriate way. You can also help your child to identify the physical symptoms of fear. They might have a racing heart or sweaty palms.

For example, a child who is afraid of spiders may not understand why they’re scared. You can help them to learn about spiders. What do they look like? How can they identify them? Discuss the fact that most spiders are not harmful, but helpful. This may help your child feel more confident around them. It should also help them develop a stronger understanding of how and why spiders won’t hurt them in most cases.

Strategy 3: Reinforce Positive Behaviors


When your child displays positive behaviors related to their fear, reinforce them with praise. This will help to increase the chance of those actions being repeated in the future. For example, if your child is afraid of going to school but still attends each day, praise them for their courage and bravery. This will help them feel good about themselves. It will also help them to continue to display courageous behaviors in the future.

Strategy 4: Use Relaxation Techniques


One way to help your child manage their fear is to use relaxation techniques. These can be simple exercises, such as deep breathing. This can help to calm their mind and body. For example, your child who is afraid of spiders may be helped by visualization exercises in which they imagine a safe and comfortable place. This can help them to feel more relaxed around spiders and reduce their fear.

Strategy 5: Seek professional help


If your child’s fears are affecting their ability to function in everyday life, it may be time to seek professional help. You can call a mental health professional such as a psychologist. Also, a school counselor could help your child learn to manage their fear. For example, a child who is afraid of social situations may need professional help to learn how to interact with others in a healthy way.

You Can Help Your Child in Many Ways

Overall, most children’s fears are normal and can be managed with some simple strategies. You can position your child for a successful life where their fears no longer control them. If these strategies don’t help your child improve their home or school experience, you should never be ashamed or intimidated to seek professional help. 

 

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10 Tips for Healthy Families

healthy families
Healthy families eat nutritious meals together

When you think of healthy families, what comes to mind? Maybe it’s happy children who love to play outside and eat nutritious meals with their parents. Or perhaps a healthy family is one where the members have a strong bond and spend quality time together. Everyone may have different ideas of what a healthy family looks like. Whatever your definition is, it’s important that you learn how to best support and nurture your family for yourself and your loved ones.

If you want to create a healthy family, here are some tips to help you get started:

Tip 1: Eat meals together as a family.

One of the best ways for families to bond is by eating meals together. Everyone can enjoy nutritious meals from the comfort of their own homes while spending quality time with one another. You can all participate in meaningful discussions while you eat and enjoy your meals together as a family.

Tip 2: Go for walks or play outside together.

Another great way for families to bond is by going on walks or playing outside together. This is a great way to get some exercise and spend time together. You can explore your neighborhood, go to a park, or play games.

Tip 3: Limit screen time.

One of the biggest challenges for families is limiting screen time. This means setting limits on how much time everyone spends in front of a TV screen, computer, tablet, or smartphone. To limit screen time for healthy families, decide on an amount of time per day or week that is best for your family and stick to it.

Tip 4: Get enough sleep.

All members of healthy families need to get enough sleep. Everyone needs beneficial amounts of sleep to function properly and feel rested throughout the day. Not getting enough sleep can affect your mood.  Also, you’re less likely to exercise if you’re not well-rested. You can help your family get their best amounts of sleep by setting a bedtime for everyone.

Tip 5: Make healthy habits fun.

Healthy families make healthy habits fun. You can do this by setting goals together and celebrating everyone’s accomplishments when the goal is met. For example, families can set goals to go on walks together at least three times a week. When the goal is met, everyone celebrates by going out to eat.

Tip 6: Make gratitude part of your routine.

Another beneficial habit families can practice is gratitude. Gratitude means appreciating what you have and being thankful for the good in your life. Families can make gratitude a part of their daily routine by writing down something they are thankful for each day or saying one thing they are grateful for out loud to one another.

Tip 7: Spend quality time together.

Families make sure to spend quality time together. This means being present and interacting with one another during family activities and events. Turn off your devices and put away distractions so you can focus on each other.

Tip 8: Have healthy discussions.

Families have stimulating discussions. This means talking respectfully even when topics are controversial or sensitive. Families know how to disagree with one another in constructive ways and resolve disagreements without hurting each other’s feelings.

Tip 9: Always give forgiveness.

Forgiveness is an important value to healthy families. If someone in your family makes a mistake, they know how to apologize and resolve any conflicts. Without holding grudges or resentments, families resolve problems in compassionate ways so that everyone feels heard and appreciated.

Tip 10: Make snack time healthy.

Make sure to have nutritious snacks. This means providing healthy options like fruits and vegetables instead of unhealthy snacks like candy and chips.

These healthy habits can help you create a great family environment. If you follow these steps, your family can be healthier and happier together. If you’re struggling to know where to begin, start by setting goals together. Lead by example for your children. The best time to start your healthy habits is today!

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How Much Screen Time is Too Much for Your Child?

Children these days are constantly in front of electronic devices. They may be playing games, watching TV, working on a computer, or browsing social media. It can be hard to keep them off devices when it’s so easy for them to get hooked. But is screen time bad? How much is too much?

There are many benefits to the various devices we use daily. Children can learn through educational videos and games. They can build social connections with friends. Downtime spent on various devices can be therapeutic for children who are struggling with anxiety or depression.

But too much screen time can also have negative effects. It can lead to many issues for your child. It’s important to know what those issues are so that you can recognize them if they occur. Some of those problems can include:

Obesity

Children who spend a lot of time sitting in front of screens are more likely to be overweight. If they’re not getting the exercise they need and possibly filling up on unhealthy snacks at the same time, they can gain too much weight. This can lead to other health problems like diabetes and heart disease.

Decreased Grades

Studies have shown that children who spend six hours or more a day watching TV and playing video games have lower reading, math, and overall grades.

Increased Aggression or Depression

Too much time in front of electronic devices can also increase aggression and depression in children. Studies have shown that this can affect how your child views themselves. If your child has a negative self-view, they may develop higher levels of aggressive behavior. They also may become depressed, which can lead to self-harming behavior.

Behavioral problems

Behavioral problems can show up as your child may become more hyperactive or defiant. They may also have a harder time paying attention in school.

Decreased Social Interaction

Too much time on electronic devices can also lead to decreased social interactions for your child. It takes away from family time and can interfere with a child’s ability to play without an electronic distraction.

So How Much is Too Much?

It really depends on your child and their individual needs. If your child is spending a lot of their time in front of a screen and you start to notice behavior problems or health issues, then this may be an issue.

How to Set Screen Time Rules

But screen time isn’t all bad. There can be many benefits. It’s also not realistic for your child to live without electronic devices in today’s world. Luckily, there are ways you can regulate how much time your child is getting.

    • Set electronic device-free times during the day. You can schedule times in your home when all devices are put away or turned off. These could be during meals, before bedtime, or any other time of the day that you feel is necessary.
    • Limit device time to two hours or less each day. You can set time limits that are appropriate for your child based on their age and needs.
    • Choose appropriate device activities for your child. This could be screen time that is educational, social, or therapeutic.
    • Monitor your child’s electronic device use. You should keep track of your child’s screen time use to make sure they’re not going over the limits you’ve set.
    • Make sure the content is appropriate.

Screen time can have both positive and negative effects on children. The key is in managing your child’s time to be more beneficial than harmful. Talk to your child about this. Set up rules. Choosing helpful and positive activities will make sure they’re getting the most out of their screen time.

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