Tucson International Academy

We Make College Come True

parenting advice

4 Bedtime Mistakes Parents Make

4 Bedtime Mistakes Parents Make
Too much excitement at bedtime makes it hard to get to sleep

Do you ever find yourself dreading your kid’s bedtime? You hope for a picture-perfect sequence where teeth are brushed, pajamas are put on, and they snuggle up ready to fall into dreamland. At times, you may instead experience whining, tantrums, and an overall power struggle to get even the simplest task done. When it comes to your kid’s bedtime, there are a few common mistakes that can greatly impact your ability to achieve the perfect bedtime you’ve been dreaming of. The good news is that these common mistakes are easy to fix!

1. Bedtime Snack Choices

For many households, bedtime snacks are a must. There is nothing wrong with a snack before bed, but there are two main things to keep an eye out for. One is the time. With any food, it should be enjoyed at least an hour before bed. Going to sleep on a full stomach can interrupt sleep, leading to a more restless night. The other thing to watch for is the level of sugar in the snack item. Caffeine is counterproductive when it comes to relaxing your child, and unsuspecting items can include a lot of unnecessary sugar. In general, you’ll want to avoid chocolate, soda, and tea. You’ll instead want to rely on food items that induce tryptophan, which helps initiate sleep. These foods include nuts, soybeans, meats, and dairy, as well as complex carbs.

2. Not Enough Sleep or Stimulation

It is important that kids are able to expel their energy throughout the day. While everyone enjoys a lazy day, this can impact your ability to peacefully get your kids’ bedtime consistent. This pent-up energy can begin to overflow when you truly want relaxation to happen. Not enough sleep can also factor into the success of your kid’s bedtime. In general, the earlier the bedtime, the easier it can be for your child to fall asleep. When your child is overtired, their body will naturally pump out adrenaline, making bedtime a hassle. Nighttime should be about relaxing. When it comes to homework and chores, make sure those are accomplished earlier in the day. This allows your evening to truly be focused on relaxation.

3. The Bedtime Battle

Some nights, it feels as though you must prepare for battle. Your kid’s bedtime should be a send-off, not a standoff. When it comes to a bedtime routine, you do want to be consistent and stay firm to your established rules. How you present your commitment to the routine can make all the difference. When trying to enforce, you may be faced with resistance that can lead to unwanted bedtime drama. While you want to stick to your boundaries, it also helps to allow your child to feel that they are responsible for their own actions. You want to present the situation in a way that they feel decision-making is still on their end. It can help to create a type of reward system. For each successful bedtime, they gain a star, sticker, or small token. In time, these successful achievements could lead to a special treat, such as a movie night or a trip to the zoo.

4. Irregular Routine

Routine truly is key for kids. It may feel easy to read one book one night, then three or four another night. Or maybe one night you allow them to stay up later, etc. While these may seem like small inconsistencies, they are enough to impact the overall success of your routine. It is important to keep things as consistent as possible. Same time of night, same activities, same order. This predictable sequence of events cues your child’s subconscious that it is time to relax and settle into bed.

Your kid’s bedtime doesn’t have to be a hassle! With a few changes, you’ll see that bedtime can be a calm and enjoyable event to end each night. Consistency is key, as well as creating a peaceful experience where your child feels they are making their own decisions. Watching what they eat, and the activities they participate in during the day also helps. It may take some planning and preparation, but once it is a natural routine, it will feel easy. A better night’s sleep leads to a healthier, happier kid who will be able to better perform at school and at home.

Enroll Today at TIA!

How to Teach Empathy to Your Child

How to teach empathy to your childFor parents diligently helping their children in their overall development, empathy can easily go overlooked. In part, this may be because the concept is not something that is easily explained in words—especially for younger children. To help, we’ve found that the best ways to teach an abstract concept like empathy to your child tend to be organic—including leading by example and explaining how your actions affect other people in your life.

What is Empathy?

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Essentially, it means to put yourself in their shoes and look at something from their perspective.

How to Teach Empathy?

We may try to use our actions to set an example but how can you teach empathy? Start by focusing on helping your child build a sense of self and stay mindful of their actions. A good way to teach empathy is when a random stranger does something out of anger towards you (cuts you off on the freeway, says something mean to you, etc.), don’t react in anger. Instead, think to yourself and out loud to your child, “why is this person acting this way? Maybe they just lost their job? Maybe they are sick or just found out someone else they care about is sick?” You will never know why. But if you and your child look at it from that perspective, you will start to think more empathetically.

Build a Healthy Sense of Self

It may seem counterintuitive, but your child must establish confidence in themselves to have empathy for others. This does not mean that you should assure them that they are the best at everything they do or try to set them above their peers. Instead, establishing confidence is about recognizing who you are and how you affect the world around you. As your child’s inner self becomes clearer and clearer, it is easier for them to relate to others empathically and have a positive effect on the other individuals in their life.

Once a child has developed a decent sense of self, you can teach empathy by helping your child recognize that they are a part of a larger community filled with others with their own unique personalities. Most importantly, their actions impact others. Most children respond well to the idea of being part of a community.  They need a lot from people around them while they are young and developing. With these two realizations, your child can relate to and help others from their own empathic center.

Avoid Egocentric Childhood

When we are young—and before we have developed a sense of community—the world revolves around us. With a realistic sense of self, most people begin realizing that this is not the case. However, as we know, some adults hold onto the belief that the world revolves around them. Their chief concern is how each event affects them personally. In all likelihood, these adults experienced an egocentric childhood. Children whose parents enable an egocentric childhood don’t have the opportunity to realize that all individuals have their own experiences, which are just as complicated, detailed, and emotionally charged as their own lives.

Childhood is truly the best time to encourage awareness of the ego and help develop a healthy balance between handling self-needs and the needs of others. With help, children can begin understanding their friends, family, and peers. You can help your child realize that their own needs are part of the bigger picture. Teach empathy by telling them stories about other people who act selflessly. Be a good example yourself. Ask why your child feels like they want, need, or deserve something. Be transparent as you consider how your actions will affect others. Share your reasoning for making empathetic decisions.

Show Them What Empathy Means Yourself

Be honest in your approach to the conversation. By being calm and avoiding appearing dominating or ego-driven, you can gain insight into your child’s thought processes. You may even learn something about yourself along the way. Teaching empathy requires you to be open and calm in your responses to conversations and conflicts with your child. In the end, with your example at hand, your child can begin to make wise decisions that avoid conflict and consider the feelings of others.

Enroll Today at TIA!

3 of the Best Parenting Books

3 of the best parenting books
Connection with nature benefits the human mind

Parenting is the adventure of a lifetime—and not just your own. As such, the emotions that come with parenting can be incredibly intense on both ends of the spectrum. Whether it be meltdowns, disagreements, or anything else leading to conflict with another parent or your child, there are strategic and well-researched ways to approach the situation to benefit all involved. While there are many outside resources available to you, including pediatricians, schools, therapists, and more, the idea is to be able to manage most of the situations that come up as you raise your child on your own. That’s where parenting books come to your rescue.

Fortunately, you can still take advantage of expert advice along the way. To help, there are innumerable parenting books you can refer to throughout your journey as a parent. Through the world of books, we can draw on the experiences of others and use them to pursue more positive interactions with our children. Here are three of our favorites.

Parenting Without Power Struggles – Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm, and Connected by Susan Stiffelman

Our own egos can get in the way of developing a full understanding of our children’s struggles. Worse, ego can prevent us from viewing the situation from the child’s position and seeing both sides of the conversation. This parenting book by therapist Susan Stiffelman provides a “how-to” approach to common conflicts between parents and their children. It provides well-developed, ego-free techniques to arrive at mutual solutions with your kids.

Whether your issues involve common child-parent struggles like homework, screen time, or building motivation for school, or something more unique to your family, this book provides valuable insight. We’re confident these are tools that can be used. It will help improve your approach to parenting and help you in building confidence.

Teaching Kids to Think – Raising Confident Independent and Thoughtful Children in an Age of Instant Gratification by Darlene Sweetland and Ron Stolberg

The first step to helping your children develop into functional, independent adults is embracing your own confidence. This parenting book by Darlene Sweetland and Ron Stolberg provides anecdotes and solid techniques. It approaches various components of your relationship with your children. Better yet, it supplies advice suitable for living in the age of data, technology, and social media.

The authors note that these days, children have adapted to technological advancements. They may no longer feel the need to learn simple skills. As a result, the writers feel that parents need structured insight into the social, emotional, and mental obstacles unique to today’s kids. This text is a must-read for parents. It will also help childcare workers and educators alike. It will help you understand how to raise children who are not entitled, but compassionate and confident themselves.

Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder by Richard Louv

As the age of information and technology continues, parents are faced with increased reasons to avoid the world at large. However, the world beyond the walls of your home has not changed much. Instead, fear has shifted our perspective to view natural and public places in a poor light. However, it is more critical now than ever for children to share a connection with the natural world.

This parenting book by Richard Louv shares respected research and psychology reports that prove how a deep connection with nature benefits the human mind. Read how nature can be the bearer of powerful therapeutic experiences that originate within your child. With this book, you can learn how time outdoors soothes the mind and relieves the stresses of individuals of all ages. Allowing children to use the natural world in this manner is critical for developing a positive parent-child relationship.

While parenting books are no substitute for professional advice aimed at your unique situation, they can help you begin managing the more challenging aspects of parenting on your own. We hope that one of these favorites can help you begin developing more positive parenting techniques and find a way to use them within your household.

Enroll Today at TIA!